My horoscope today states:
You may be receiving much-needed guidance from another dimension now, even if you don't believe in spirit communication. Call it your intuition if you must, but acknowledge the fact that you somehow know things today without being able to explain how. It's pointless to waste energy fighting against an invisible ally. Remember, positive thinking creates a doorway through which angels love to walk.
Yeah, I think that's just about right. Considering the incoming energy of people who align with my intentions and the outgoing energy of people with bad intentions. I read my horoscope and was rather surprised that it expressed my sentiments about my current attitude - which is mostly of recovery.
I was seeing my therapist once a week up until a month ago. I had to change my session frequency so that my appointment wouldn't interfere with the time I have to pick up my daughter from school. Doing that changed my dates so that I only see my therapist every two weeks, at least until we can schedule something better. For now, this works. I see my clinic case manager once a month. Usually on the same day that I see my therapist. I see my nurse practitioner for medication in August for an update on how I'm doing on 125 mg of Depakote per day. I'm taking a generic for Depakote, but it seems to be fine for now. If things stay stable, I may not need to raise the dose.
I'm focused on my recovery by spending more time alone - writing in my journal, reading books about healing and personal development, listening to music, and keeping my mind engaged in things that boost my mood. I forgot how much I enjoyed being alone. The sting of the pain caused from being so social in my recent past doesn't feel so bad as it did. Especially after coming across some cool people that are very supportive of my healing process. I'm not like most other people, and so my healing process is entirely different. I have gotten suggestions to be more outgoing and take chances to try to connect with new people or just be around others in general. That just doesn't work for me anymore. I recover best in solitude. In a space where I can trust that my healing process won't get short-circuited by distractions that don't serve me.
As each day passes, I become more and more my true self in private and in public. I remember how weird and quirky and silly I am. I am embracing the truth of my flaws as well as the things that make me amazing, whether others notice or not. I don't care about anyone noticing anymore either. I do things for me now, just to show myself that I am fully capable of so much more than I once thought. I don't need other people's approval. I especially don't welcome their judgments. I have finally created an inner space that protects me from whatever threatens my emotional stability, and I have created an outer space that reflects how I am blossoming. I feel free. That is priceless. I have identified that humility is the biggest factor in getting me back to where I want to be with my whole heart. Without it, pride will be my destruction.